Accompanying the Wall Street Journal's article about the special Olympic protest zones are seven pages of scans of the notorious English phrasebook issued to Beijing police. It is well worth a look just so you can see what constitute typical Olympic scenarios as envisioned by the Public Security Bureau. Among them are "Interrogating a Foreign Reporter" (the word "interrogating" having something of a presumption-of-guilt feel about it), and a bomb scenario in which a hapless Indian pancake chef named Enzaji Leer comes under suspicion. I'd say you couldn't make it up, except that someone obviously did. Anyone know where I can get a copy of the whole book?

Looking at the "bomb" scenario (partially reproduced below), Imagethief feels that it is, in fact, perhaps a tad unrealistic considering the stress and tension of most real urban police-work. Here is an alternate scenario:

Sound of door being kicked open

P: Enzaji Leer, freeze!

F: Whu...?

Sound of fusillade of gunshots

P: (Captain) That'll show him what we do to "Indian pancake chefs" in this town. OK boys, search the premises.

Sound of dingy hotel room being tossed

P: (Sergeant) Captain, no bomb in here.

P: (Captain, regarding twitching corpse) Crap. Look at this mess. There'll be questions. Remember what happened when Xiao Lu beat up that Bangladeshi fry cook in Sanlitun? OK, somebody put a backup pistol in his hands. We'll claim he shot himself.

P: (Sergeant) Six times? In the head?

P: (Captain) Sure. Indians are tough.

P: (Sergeant) Works for me.

Police guide scan. 

Somebody set up us the bomb!