Monday, January 21, 2008 6:43 AM
by
will
When Chinese press conference cliches go wrong
Imagethief has always been annoyed by the Chinese inclination to festoon press conferences with flowers. Spokespeople get corsages. Dais tables and podiums get bouquets. You'd think you were at a wedding if weren't for the fact that everyone is bored stupid and there's no bride to be seen. I can't count how many times I've had variations of the following conversation:
Flunky: We need flowers for the spokespeople!
Me: Why?
Flunky: Well, how will people know that they are spokespeople?
Me: Because they'll be seated on a dais behind microphones, under an enormous banner, facing the journalists?
...pause...
Flunky: We need flowers for the spokespeople!
Me: Right. You take care of that. I'm going to go bang my head against that concrete wall until my skull caves in.
And so on.
Over the years I've learned a grudging acceptance of the flower addiction, and many other Chinese press conference cliches. But, c'mon, you've got to be freakin' kidding:

God help you if you have an allergy.
Technically it's not a press conference, it's the opening ceremony of the 13th Beijing People's Congress. But it's really the same idea.
In other Olympic-related photo news, I was excited when I saw a story on the unveiling of uniforms for Olympic volunteers because I thought they were going to make the good-looking girls wear white micro-mini skirts:

For a moment I thought BOCOG was going to make good in a positive way on this dangerously ambiguous Xinhua headline:
"Beijing 2008 poised to be most memorable Games"
Unfortunately, it turns out she's just a compere. The uniforms are the shapeless, nursing-home drabwear in the background.
Alas.
Note: Thanks to Sage for pointing that destined-to-come-back-to-haunt-them headline.