Continuing my exploration of the zaniest fixtures and furnishings in China, this weekend I looked at a lovely apartment in Greenlake Place (Guanhu) that was thoroughly trashed by this living room set:
When I finally get around to overthrowing that small, African nation like I’ve been planning, this is the furniture I’ll want in my throne room (although perhaps re-upholstered in leopard or zebra skin). Until then, a bit too grand for my entirely modest ass. Oh, and whether I’m god-king of Botswana or not, that telephone will have to go.
Reminds me of Click & Clack’s advice about always choosing an American car based on how many burgers you can balance on the dashboard… those armrests are perfect for a small banquet.
Yeh tacky but guess u might find similar in some homes in the US too, no?
You’ll have to set your sights lower than Botswana: it’s one of Africa’s most democratic and prosperous countries.
May I suggest either Equatorial Guinea or the Central African Republic as more suitable take-over targets?
Fantastic. I’d rent it myself but it doesn’t look like there are enough inordinately large chandeliers in there for my taste.
One at a time here:
@Auntielucia: Perhaps, but not in any home I’ve been to. I must run with the wrong crowd.
@Jeremy: Exactly. That’s why it needs to be overthrown. Who wants to take over some dump? Actually, I did know that about Botswana, but I picked it because it rolled off the tongue in that sentence better than a few other country names I tried (Sierra Leone was my number two candidate). Thus veracity crumbles before idiot humor yet again. I naturally apologize to the well-governed people of Botswana for groundlessly scandalizing them.
@C. Custer: No, trust me, the lights totally do the furniture justice. But I didn’t want my wife to ruin her phone’s camera.
Gaudy, gaudy, gaudy. Looks like you couldn’t even reach the phone while sitting in one of those things.
“Reach” the phone? My dear boy, when I am god-king the phone-servant shall reach it for me.
Gosh, do they sell these furniture in normal shops in BJ? I am sure u will be a regal king in those seats.. Can’t u rent an apartment with no furniture?
There is no more enjoyable blessing than observing the extraordinary bad taste that people with money but little else indulge themselves with.
I do a quick inhale every time I walk past the Rococo goes Wild & Gold furniture shop in Bangkok Emporium. It’s a blessing knowing that so much is wasted on such appalling shit that if it didn’t exist could only be wasted on other appalling shit. Style is not something people luck out on. That’s a comfort in life knowing that.
One time I had to grovel on my knees for a very wealthy (Honorific royal title) Khun Ying in Bangkok so I could use her 97 Asian economic crisis unfinished skyscraper as an advertising billboard. I corporate grovel all the time so that was no sweat but I was shocked to my reptilian amygdala at the sheer tasteless clutter, the cheap and nasty souvenirs the shocking furniture. Shocked but you know in that grinning from ear to ear kind of way that made me feel smug and superior for just as long as was necessary as I grovelled out of sight.
Ooh, Guanhu! I used to live there, and it was very nice. Lots of Ayis gossiping outside in the shade with white children in tow. Also, marble.
It’s a little far, though, so I might buy a car–and if you’re going to live there, I’d say you should get a Cayenne or a Bentley.
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>>My dear boy, when I am god-king the phone-servant shall reach it for me.
Wipers!
I remember going to huge furniture market in Changsha, Hunan, which plumbed the depths of kitsch and gaudy furniture design. The stuff pictured is fairly tasteful compared to what I saw there.