I read many things and enjoy them. I don’t read many things and say, man, I wish I had written that.
Man, I wish I had written this. Forbes Beijing Bureau chief (and fellow Sinica repeat-offender) Gady Epstein with a wicked what-if take on China and the BP oil spill:
Would BP’s CEO Have Been Executed In China?
Some time ago we reached the “China Zone” for the BP story. The China Zone is where you are ready to believe any story you hear happened in the country, because no matter how unbelievable it is, you just think to yourself, “Ha, that’s China!”
It has reached the point where we will believe anything we hear about BP. Tony Hayward spear-fishing for The Little Mermaid, as The Daily Show recently posited? Only implausible because she is a fictional creature. (Inspiration for the China Zone comes from The Sports Guy Bill Simmons’ “Tyson Zone” at ESPN.com).
I came to this realization as I tried to imagine how the BP oil spill would have unfolded if it had happened in China. In recognition of China’s tendency to do everything roughly 1,000 times faster than in the West, I imagined the crisis reaching its conclusion in just 10 days…
It continues from there. Read the whole thing, even through the annoying, slide-at-time navigation. Also, I gather Gady will be giving a reading of this in the next Sinica. Can’t wait.
Totally brilliant, indeed . . . on multiple levels. Thanks for linking to Gady’s masterstroke, Will.
My favorite of many bull’s-eyes comes on Day Nine, when “Tom Friedman writes glowingly of China’s ‘unique ability’ to manage crises, declaring that ‘China is beating the U.S. at yet another thing’ due to ‘the mastery of its benevolent authoritarian system.’ ”
Who needs The Onion or The Daily Show?
The BP oil spill will not even have to happen in China in order for Xin Hua to put its own spin on events, as soon as its Times Square New York City flagship 24 hour news channel opens this summer. I can’t wait for the talking heads at Fox, CNN, BBC, and the Op Ed contributors at The Gray Lady to join the fray. You media and PR people must be salivating– not just over the battling opinion makers, but the job opportunities at CNC for freshly minted journalists! http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/02/world/asia/02china.html?emc=tnt&tntemail1=y